What people want to do...

　

Recently a friend of mine decided to start talking to a guy that the rest of the girls in our group had already warned her against. I consider this guy a friend and he has never done anything against me…However….I have not tried to date him either. He is that guy who chases women, says all the right things, uses them and tosses them aside and brags about it later. I am almost certain that I will turn on the TV one day only to find a news report that some poor women has went crazy and ran him down with her car.

Naturally this situation stirred up some debate in my circle of friends. Some wondering if she had lost her mind and I trying to get everyone to understand something….what was I trying to get them to understand you ask...... At the end of the day…no matter what you say…what you do or how you feel…

PEOPLE ARE GOING TO DO WHAT THEY WANT TO DO…PERIOD.

Don’t get me wrong. I love my friends and I do not want to see them hurt but I can not run their lives for them. I think that at one time I maybe was that person who nagged the people in my life a little too much about how they handled certain situations and maybe even judged them to some degree. However, since entering my 30’s I have finally decided that I do not care what anyone else is doing… as long as it isn’t negatively affecting me it is none of my business.

I realize that the only thing I can do is be there for my friends no matter what. I have learned how to express my thoughts to people in a more constructive and objective way and make sure that I tell them that no matter what the outcome they can ALWAYS come to me and I will support whatever decision they make. (Keep in mind that this is in reason…because if they were putting themselves in real physical danger I would probably kidnap them and hold them hostage until they changed their mind!)

I have come to this conclusion from experience. I make decisions (mostly about men) everyday against the wishes and advice of many of my friends. I am talked to and warned and still I end up making whatever decision I want to make weather they like it or not. I have been lucky that there are a few women in my life that love me no matter what. They are there for me when I am reaping the benefits of a good decision and they are there for me when I am heartbroken over the outcome of a bad decision. They love me no matter what I do and hopefully they will continue to keep this up. Because god knows that I am likely to make many many more decisions that they do not agree with…it is only human nature after all! In return and out of love for them I show my friends the same respect, courtesy and love that they show me and in doing so I have fulfilled my responsibility.

I wish that more people would realize that people are going to do what they want to do weather you like it or not, learn to approach things more objectively and constructively without a hint of judgment and be there for their friends no matter what.

 

A big THANK YOU to the people in my life who have learned this same lesson and stick by me every step of the way...even when they don't agree.